Tips For Dildo Harness Use
It all sounds simple enough—strap on a harness, fasten the dildo, apply ample amounts of lube, and you're off to the races. The reality--wearing a dildo in a harness demands a fair amount of coordination, imagination, and attentiveness, not to mention patience! First time dildo and harness users are often discouraged by their first time experience because they do not realize that using a harness and dildo actually requires a fair amount of energy and imagination.
For starter, most people who wear the dildo harness for the first time unconsciously expect the dildo to magically convey feeling to them. A dildo is an inanimate object which has no feeling and does not transmit feeling back to the wearer. Communication is an incredibly important part of the game and both you and your partner should communicate when learning how to use a dildo and harness. It takes a lot of energy, but the results are well worth the initial effort and possible disappointments.
As with riding a bike for the first time, you shouldn't despair if you encounter a stumbling block. Extensive feed back and communication with your partner will soon have you back in the saddle and you will quickly gain command of the situation. That being said, here are some tips and suggestions to help minimize any possible stumbling blocks that you may encounter.
1: Use lube and lots of it! Liberally apply lubricant to the dildo and to your partner's vagina or anus. If the dildo is made of rubber, jelly or any other porous material use a condom to maintain the sterility of the dildo and remember to change the condom when you switch orifices or partners. Also, use water-based lube which is less likely to damage the dildo, harness or condom and less likely to irritate the vagina than other lubricants.
2: The dildo you wear in the harness should have a slight curve to it so that the dildo matches the natural curve of your partner's anus or vagina. Not only does a curved dildo minimize problems with the angle of insertion, but it also allows for better g-spot or prostate stimulation. Also, it is easier to control a firm dildo, so leave the floppy dildo for packing purposes.
3: Length matters! The word is in—longer dildos are easier to manage when using a harness. Longer length means more room to help you guide the dildo into your partner when you are learning how to use the dildo and harness sex toy combination and it also means that you will have more dildo length left over for penetration once it has been slipped through the harness. Remember that about half an inch of the dildo will be lost to the harness. Furthermore, if you want to get into a stroking rhythm, it's best to use a dildo long enough that it won't ever pull entirely out of your partner.
4: If you need to continually reinsert the dildo, the flow of your sexual play will be interrupted. Minimize any discomfort by keeping the dildo well lubricated and being conscious of how the motion of your hips is influencing the interaction between the dildo and your partner. Some couples have avoided this problem by maintaining close body contact and inserting the dildo to the hilt and rocking their pelvises together instead of continually thrusting in and out. Once again, practice makes perfect in this case.
5: So that there is no confusion, all the positions that apply to penis-vagina or penis-anus intercourse are suitable for intercourse with a dildo. The only limit is your confidence in using the dildo harness sex toy and you and your partner's comfort levels with imaginative sex positions. NB: a man wearing a dildo in a harness should position the dildo above his genitals for comfort and practicality. This also allows for double penetration with a female partner and also for easy genital fondling access.