Women's Sexuality Through Time. Part III

Marriage, child-raising and career-building marks the settling-down phase of a woman's life that harkens a new wave of sexual conundrums. Provided that all is progressing well in the woman's life, the variety and complexity, stability and security of this phase can adds a depth and richness to life that makes sex meaningful and exquisitely satisfying. However, if life during this phase is not as picture-book perfect as she would like, sexual satisfaction may fluctuate drastically along with the emotional tides of her relationship to her partner/husband or with herself. In this third installment of our four part article, the negative and positive impacts of the settled sexual life phase will be analyzed with particular attention given to what may hinder the settled woman's complete enjoyment of sex.

SETTLING DOWN
Sex is a pivotal component in any relationship, and often serves to establish or cement the hierarchy within a relationship that may extend into other factors such as money, chores, in-laws, and child-raising. When all is well with a woman in the settled phase, all is very well—there is a balance between her work life, home life, married life and social life that allows for her to grow as a person and also to explore the boundaries of a steady monogamous relationship both sexually and emotionally. Yet, if a woman is at a constant disadvantage in her relationship, she may begin to feel trapped by her partnership and then resentful, which may further impact her negative experiences with sex. This then instigates a vicious circle where her discontent fuels the negative relationship with her partner and continues to degrade her sexual experience. As the settled phase is often a stage linked to a new sort of emotional vulnerability, the lack of compassion and equality in a relationship is damaging not only to the sex life but also to the woman's own personal development.

Feelings for a woman's partner tend to correlate directly to her sexual desires–if the woman feels underappreciated, unduly pressured or emotionally smothered the sexual relationship of the partnership will suffer. Dissatisfaction or a waning of her physical ardor for her mate will also create sexual tensions within the relationship. Sometimes the act of sex itself becomes unimaginative which is when a couple needs to look for inspiration either in a better sex guide or perhaps consider incorporating sex toys into their usual sex play to keep things lively. Physical problems tend to also get in the way of a woman's sexual relationship. Time is often in short supply due to career needs, sleep deprivation and lifestyle demands. Sorry guys, but when faced with the option to sleep for two extra hours or sex, a woman in this situation will most likely choose sleep, especially if children are also part of the equation.

Pregnancy is often a mixed blessing–sex by the calendar becomes routine at best, nausea and other physical changes don't contribute to having a sexy body image, and once the little bundles of joy arrive, sleep and privacy become a fond memory at least for the first few months. It is not surprising that sex takes a back seat to all the other demands in a woman's life during her settled phase. This is a great time for women to dust off their vibrators or to purchase one—zero to orgasm in two minutes flat seems like a great deal for the stress relief and the time management!