Women's Sexuality Through Time. Part II

No longer a virgin, but not quite settled down the woman in the pre-settled phase is often a young professional who is looking to enjoy life before settling down into a defined career path or into raising a family. This is often an exciting period of development for a young woman as she is often confident in her sexual knowledge (hopefully thanks to a good adult sex guide!), looking to meet new people and also curious about pushing the sexual envelope. However, there does exist a flip side to the exuberant woman entering the pre-settled phase of her sexual life. Woman who have had negative experiences during her initial experimentation with sex may not have the confidence or the desire to progress in their sexual awakening. Therapy is common for many women of this stage as she begins to tackle some of the more serious issues in her life, including her relationship to sex and to herself. In this second installment of our four part article, the negative and positive impacts of the pre-settled sexual life phase will be analyzed with particular attention given to what may hinder the pre-settled woman's complete enjoyment of sex.

THE PRE-SETTLED PHASE
Women in the pre-settled phase have delved into sexual discovery and have possibly had more than one partner while initially experimenting with sex. Along with experience comes the possibility of sexual trauma that will impact a woman's sexual development and comfort for a good amount of time. It is possible that the woman may have been the survivor of incest or other sexual trauma, which would create trust issues or unsettling memories and body sensations that may intrude on her emerging womanhood.

Coralie Scherer, Ph.D., of the San Jose Marital and Sexuality Centre, writes that any of the subconcious sexual issues with which a woman is contending can lead to an unconscious clamping down of vaginal muscles, called vaginismus, that make penetration painful or downright impossible. In addition, a dampening of sexual feelings can occur as a reaction to prior painful sexual encounters that originally were physical in nature: chronic infections, tiny tears and scrapes, awkward penile angle, or rough sex play such as biting, spanking or bruising, to name but a few. Anticipation of a painful encore can turn off the sexual tap. In addition the pre-settled phase may be accompanied by a re-evaluation of a woman's sexual orientation and her interest in men may not be constant as she attempts to determine what she most desires in her sexual future.

The pre-settled phase is really prime time exploration where sex is concerned as she is trying to discover more about her sexual needs and what she wants out of her life. Unfortunately sexual trauma may be a result of this heady exploration phase where a woman tends to push her sexual comforts in an attempt to better know herself. Experiences with sex toys, BDSM or multiple partners, although a rewarding experience in most cases, can have an emotional impact on a woman who is not sufficiently prepared to undertake that level of exploration. As they say, if you play with fire, you may get burned if you don't lookout for yourself.