Abusive Tops and Isolated Areas
Two things that send chills down any prospective or actual BDSM participant: facing an abusive dominant (or being labeled as one!) or being stuck in an isolated area with no means of escape. Abusive dominants can wreak emotional an physical trauma on their partners that can often take years to heal. Relationships between dominants and submissives are built upon trust so when one member violates that trust, the relationship as well as the emotional and physical security of both partners in jeopardized. This is why extensive communication is a must in BDSM relationship negotiations and role play and also why taking one's time before engaging in stringent bondage or SM is not a bad idea. Bondage and SM play in an isolated area is dangerous for obvious reasons--who wants to be stranded with no hopes of survival?--but also because any number of medical or environmental emergencies may arise and prevent either the submissive or the dominant from being able to ensure the survival of all parties involved. Grim, yes, but read on to find out what you can do...
Risk Factor Number Five: Playing with an abusive top. Strangely enough, conventional wisdom is applicable in this case—take your time to know a prospective bondage or SM partner before you engage in any BDSM play. If possible, get references from previous BDSM play partners. Despite this being viewed as the major risk factor in bondage play, case reports of abusive dominants are comparatively rare, although they do occur. If you prefer to err on the side of caution, make sure that a third person knows where you are, who you're with, what you're doing, and when you're expected back once you have confirmed all of the details with your bondage partner before the BDSM play starts. BDSM play revolves around trust, so don't be afraid to slowly build up your trust in a new bondage partner—do not engage in any intense bondage on the first few BDSM play dates, and once you have laid a base of trust with your new SM partner, proceed with caution and respect. Please note that emotional trauma can also be inflicted by dominant partners and that this can be circumvented by redefining the boundaries of your role play if emotional trauma is beginning to infringe upon your non-BDSM role play life, by leaving the current bondage or SM relationship for a more nurturing one, or by seeking the help of a trained therapist.
Risk Factor Number Six: Playing in isolated areas. Where it relates to BDSM, an isolated area is an area in which a bound submissive cannot easily alert a third party if the top were to become unconscious or physically incapacitated. BDSM incidents of this type are admittedly rare, but they occasionally happen (Wiseman, 76). A severe medical emergency befalling the dom under these circumstances, such as a sudden cardiac arrest, would render any reasonable life-saving attempt impossible if the sub was unable to alert a third party. If playing in an isolated area heightens your bondage or SM play, inform someone trustworthy exactly where you will be and when you are expected to return. Another precaution would be to make sure that a submissive in bondage can reach something like a telephone or an alarm panic button if the need should arise. If either of these options seems impractical, limit the extent of the bondage applied during bondage or SM play in an isolated area. Jay Wiseman relates that he knows "one bottom who will let herself be put in fairly stringent bondage under such circumstances, but she will not let herself be tied to any fixed object such as a bed, chair, or overhead eyebolt." A good rule of thumb would be to allow the submissive at least two different methods to release themselves or summon help during isolated bondage or SM play. As more than one life is at stake during play in an isolated area, it is wise to take more precautions than you think you will need.
Next up, the impact that medical and environmental emergencies may have on your bondage play and why you owe it to your prospective BDSM partner to disclose any important medical or trauma-related information about yourself.