Talking Dirty
Ok, I'll admit it. The first time a guy I was dating asked me to talk dirty to him, it was a complete shock and deer-caught-in-the-headlights moment: if my life had been a movie, it would have been that five second cut where all the music and motion ended leaving the leading lady with a holy s**t expression on her face. It wasn't pretty.
Communication is a big part of who we are as humans: unless you are eeking out a living in the barren wilds of the tundra, you are most likely going to be talking or at the very least communicating with someone or something. Communication during sex is also a big part of what makes sex so pleasurable and rewarding for both parties involved, which is why when my partner spoke up about his need for me to "talk dirty" I started whispering things into his ear that would have had Mom washing my mouth out with soap a few years earlier. Truth be told... I kinda liked getting down and talking dirty.
If you haven't explored the possibilities of dirty talk or sexual conversations during your sex sessions, it is something you might want to explore—I like to think of scandalous little whispers as the free sex toy, and believe me, there aren't too many of those running around the city, so use your dirty vocal sex toy to get your partner hot and steamy.
How to begin? Do your research—you wouldn't buy just any sex toy. You need a sex toy that turns you on and makes you want to get mmmm... nasty! The same applies to your vocal sex toy. The authors of the Good Vibrations Guide to Sex handbook suggest to make a list of words that turn you on and help to communicate what you want in bed, and then practice using them. Your voice is like any other sex toy—you only learn how to use it best once you've experimented with the sextoy.
Experimenting—-start with what you are comfortable, even if it is only a handful of "ooohs" and "aaahhs" uttered at the right moment. Once you build up more confidence start stringing words together that convey how you feel and what you like. Another option you can explore is renting or purchasing an adult DVD and practicing some of the spoken interactions between the adult movie stars and their partners. A friend of mine once compared talking dirty to getting used to her rabbit pearl vibrator. The first time she 'used' her vibrator sex toy she only felt comfortable turning on and off the controls of the sextoy and varying the speed settings of the sextoy. Each time she played with the vibrator sex toy she felt more and more comfortable until she was actually using the vibrator sex toy to stimulate herself. The same applies to you and your "vocal sex toy"—-say as much or as little as loudly or as softly as you please and sooner than later you'll be communicating with your partner as dirtily as you ever desired.