First Time Anal Sex
Q: My partner and I have spoken about trying anal sex. It would be my first time trying anal sex and I want to know more about it and what I can do to make my first experience pleasurable.
A: Anal sex is an incredibly pleasurable experience for both men and women as the anus and rectum are lined with over 10,000 nerve endings. With a little anal lube, patience, and consent, discovering the back door pleasures will make you a convert to anal sex. Anal sex or anal sex toy masturbation is a pleasurable activity that you and your partner should work up to with time and patience because it is important to feel comfortable when experimenting with any new sex activities. Most discomforts during anal sex toy masturbation or anal penetration stem from insufficient arousal prior to beginning anal sex play. The anus, like the vagina, needs to be properly aroused and lubricated so that your muscles relax to make sex toy or other penetration easier.
A lack of lubrication will cause great discomfort with anal play as the rectum, unlike the vagina and the penis, does not produce its own lubrication. There is no such thing as too much lube for anal sex play whether you are using sex toys or not. Remember that anal tissues are very sensitive and do not respond well to the friction of a non lubricated toy so it is recommended that you use an anal lube specially made for anal penetration with a thick consistency which makes them stay slick longer. Also some people try to do too much too soon: when you insert a sextoy, finger etc into someone's anus, it must be done slowly.
Start exploring anal sex or penetration slowly with your partner. Begin with analingus or rimming (using a dental dam to minimize any risk of infection) to arouse your partner and to relax their muscles. Once they feel comfortable try inserting a finger into their anus—if it is your first experience with anal penetration, it is likely that you may feel as though you need to go to the bathroom—relax, this is completely normal. If you feel pain, stop as pain should never be part of the experience.
Some people enjoy building up to anal sex by using dildo sex toys. This is a great way to relax your body and enjoy the different sensations that anal play can bring you as the anal dildo or butt plug sex toys come in small, medium and large widths. Some also use a combo tool that features a slim dildo on one end and anal beads on the other. If you are having difficulty relaxing, try using a vibrating bullet or egg to relax the sphincter muscles and enhance the sensations of anal penetration. Also don't neglect to use the anal plugs or anal probe sex toys to stimulate the prostate gland which creates orgasmic responses in men. However, the most important aspect of exploring a new sex practice with a partner is communication. Respect his or her comfort level and progress accordingly—anal sex is worth the patience.